Dating Violence and Talking to Teenagers
What dating violence is about
The dating game is difficult enough, but when dating gets violent, it can become down right dangerous. Approximately one in four adult women report that they have been victims of violence by a male partner. Date rape or acquaintance rape can happen to anyone, male or female, single or married. Date rape is about power, control and anger. It is not necessarily violent, but it does involve forced sexual intercourse. The only difference between date rape and rape is that the victim knows the rapist, meaning that their attacker is not a stranger.
What parents can tell teenagers
Below are some tips for you and to share with your teenager:
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You always have the right to say "No". It does not matter what the circumstance is. You still have the right to say no.
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Trust your instincts. Do not be alone with someone you don't know very well or who makes you uncomfortable. Suggest going to a public place, hanging out in a group, or even double dating.
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Be aware of the different kinds of pressure or force. Force can include not stopping when you say no, physically holding you down, or using a weapon. Other types of force can be threats or promising harm if you don't give in. Remember — date rape is psychological as well as physical.
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Stay in charge. When dating, be clear and upfront about your expectations and stay involved in decisions about how you are going to spend your time. Remember, drinking and drugs will make it harder for you to stay in control of a situation. It is a good idea to always carry money for a bus or a cab, and change to make a phone call.
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Watch for danger signs. If the person has not listened to you in the past (or in other situations), he or she may not listen to you in a sexual setting. Be careful if the person likes it when you are uncomfortable. He or she may not respect your limits.
You can get more information by contacting the Aetna Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Counselors are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week to provide confidential assistance at no cost to you and your eligible family members.
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