When Your Child's School Gets Dangerous
Over a third of assaults on urban teenagers occur in schools. Young people injure and even kill classmates over what may appear to be trivial incidents: an insult, a rumor or a dispute over boyfriends or girlfriends. Parents and teachers can play a big role in stemming this violence by teaching students how to manage conflict and anger. Students need to learn how to find alternatives to fighting, how to understand their anger, including the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger, to weigh the pros and cons of fighting and to question their values. Disagreements shouldn't end in a showdown.
Tough Questions to Ask Tough Schools
Schools can discipline problem students and can punish them for breaking rules. Schools can't, however, force a student to become mature or peaceful through punishment. When your child's school gets dangerous because of violent students, ask school representatives these questions:
- Does the school require that all new students go through an
orientation program that covers drug use, violence and gang
activities in school?
- How does the school handle students who bring a weapon to
school, sell drugs or assault a teacher? What are grounds for
expulsion or suspension?
- Does the school cooperate with the local probation department
to monitor and help kids on probation? Many juvenile courts have
approved this cooperation.
- Does the school offer any drug intervention programs or crisis
counseling?
- Does the school notify you and other parents in case of an
emergency? Does the school provide a directory of other parents'
phone numbers you can call to verify the quality and supervision of
extracurricular activities?
- What is the school's policy regarding gang dress, colors or
paraphernalia?
- Does the school have a published crisis intervention
plan?
- Does the school offer extracurricular activities that appeal to kids (preferably organized by kids), especially on weekend nights?
You may also be able to ask these questions of students themselves between classes. In many cases you'll get some surprising, perhaps more personal, answers.
There Are Alternatives to Gangs
Many children, both male and female, flirt with gang membership at school and after classes. Peer pressure, the pressure to conform to a gang's conduct, can seem impossible to resist to a young person. Its bonds can be even stronger than family ties. Gangs can also lure a kid into membership and then threaten violence if the kid tries to quit, even if the child drops out of that school or transfers to another one.
Nevertheless, there's always a choice. Here are some alternatives you can suggest to your kids. (In some cases you might want to do some background research first to see what's available in your community):
- Find new friends by having a yard sale or barbecue, throwing a
party or taking dance lessons -- or renew old friendships.
- Join a school, church or community club, sports team, band,
orchestra, choir, YWCA, YMCA, 4-H club, scouting program, hiking
club, youth club, etc.
- Check "Youth Organizations & Centers" in the yellow pages
or "Recreation and Parks Department" under local government in the
front section of the white pages.
- Take extracurricular classes in areas of personal
interest.
- Work on school, church or community publications or theatrical
productions.
- Join a gym or take classes in boxing, martial arts, or
aerobics.
- Volunteer for a community service group or at a hospital or
senior center.
- Join a police patrol as a civilian observer if your local
police department offers that opportunity. Most do.
- Participate in the graffiti abatement program of your local
community development office.
- Check out the listings in the local state or community
employment office. Some communities also offer special job
opportunities for youths, particularly in the summer.
- See what learning and exercise opportunities the libraries,
museums, aquariums, planetariums, recreation centers, public pools,
gardens and parks have to offer.
- Rent movies, keep a diary, indulge a hobby, write letters or start a garden.
Be an Involved Parent
Talk with school teachers, counselors, administrators and students to find out what security measures the school has in place and offer your ideas on adding to those. Discuss these issues with your child and decide whether the school is safe enough -- or whether your child should attend another school.
Copyright 2009 Parlay International. All rights reserved.
This publication is for general informational purposes only and it is not intended to provide any reader with specific authority, advice or recommendations. Where you deem necessary, we suggest that you seek advice regarding your particular situation from the appropriate professional.
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